Could I.

There's a time when i want to change it for good.
Past these few days, i've been so busy and tired which i need to struggle for the exam.
Last Sunday and last night i don't bother to sleep cause there's stoll lots to read and lots more to go.
From one chapter to another chapter. Read and memorize. Medical life right, so i need to bare with it. But, i sit and think, could i just turn back the time so that i could struggle for the beginning. I still remember when i failed 2 subject during first Internal Assesment, i've made my vow to start struggle early, i do change but it last not that long as i expected due to the laziness and various factors. I skip my lunch every single day to study in the library but there's no point when my mind wasn't there. I regreted. See, i've been struggle for these past few days and i utilize to the maximun all the time i use and even i have these thought that going out for luch is just a wasting of time, so i stayed in the library and this actually helped, but less.

As i sat for the examination this week without having a tight sleep, i really hope i passed, at least, so that there won't be the any worse time during my first phase and i couldn't afford to fail and doomed for the year. I seriously need motivation constantly which i received from my parents and collegues these few days. But, should i blame internet for this laziness plus i usually online on Facebook and downloading movies and series? Without internet, i could at least search anything from it so that i make it useful in term of study. I tried.

Anyways, after these two theory papers = Anatomy and Physiology, i hoped and pray hard to Allah so that i passed, no that i don't expect to pass excellently, but really appreciate that at least i passed. Now, what worries me more is Biochemistry. Honestly i still haven't start anything yet and knowing thst biochemistry needs me to memorize lots of thing and i wish i could be able to do that in this 1 and a half day. I really hope that i passed on these 3 subject, as weel as the practicals examination. I at least want to be better and i want to change this and make it permenantly. I want to be a good and knowledgeable doctor. I don't want to be a doctor with surface knowledge and just passed. I WANT TO BE MORE THAN THAT.