Monday, November 3, 2008

the thought that count

friendship.
in friendship,is there such thing like friends left out?
year after year i've been gone thru lots of people.
year after year i've met new people.
year after year i've made lots of friends.

3 years of kindergarten, 6 years of elementary school, 5 years of high school, and 1 year of foundation year.

most of 'em i still contact and know them.
but do they know me as i know them?
do they treat me like i treat them?

i have no answer for that.
i dont know what they felt about me.
i dont know what they think about me.

i have plenty of good friends in High School.
they'll are good to me.
they appreciate as who i am now.
they care bout me in what ever i do.
they support me no matter what happen.
they call me to chat with me.

in foundation year,i've met new friends even though i came in late.
at first, it was all alone. i requested to be the same housemate as my friend in sdar and i get it.
i know no one except him.
then, i made friends with others.

am i bad enough as ur friend?
am i cruel enough as ur friend?
am i treating u guys badly?

again,the answer lies among u guys!

i dont know,i think i've been a good friend to all of 'em.
but do i get the same thing as what i gave them?

is it that i don't have feeling so that i can be treated like that.
people have feelings. why u dont care bout my feelings when u did that to me?

stop reasoning!
when i knew i wasnt invited,i took it positively.
but come to think about it, i dont think it was a positive part.
its more to negative part.

yeah,i admit that
i'm noisy,
i'm overacting,
i'm sometimes make people not comfortable.

but do i deserve this?!
i dont think that i deserve!

what would u do if u're in my place?!
would u feel the same way?
felt like humiliated.
felt like unappreciated.
felt lonely.

come to think about it again,seriously it affected me the most.
i felt like i didnt fit with u guys.
u know why?
i joined u guys late.
i felt like i was left out.

u have a person u close to and u share everything u have when u sad,happy and discontented with him.
that particular friend didnt invite u at all.
what would u feel?

stop reasoning.
i've heard what i wanted to hear.
i've accepted all the apologies.
but it takes time to heal what i feel.

the wound that has been made is quite severe.
skin wound might be easy to cure but heart is different.
it may continue to bleed.

thanks to all whoever i meant.
i do appreciate u guys as what u are.

totte mo arigato gozaimasu for making all my life in Mais a cherry blossom.
and thanks a lot for accepting me!



1 comment:

Lyna Wan said...

Kozac,sometimes what people think about us does matter.But the most important thing that count is how we think,treat and accept other people. I believe that if you give your best,you will receive your best.
cheers

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